Wednesday, 1 March 2006


Thursday 1 March 2007

This morning I woke very early, about 6 o’clock, with fear in my stomach. Tomorrow is my consultation. Tomorrow. I’ve thought about the journey: Paris to Saint Germain en Laye. According to Mappy it takes 1 hour 16 minutes. I’ve worked out that I need to leave at about 7:15 to 7:30 from my home to arrive promptly for the appointment, taking into account anything that might arise by chance. This morning before leaving home I set my alarm for 6:30 for tomorrow. I can’t think about anything other than that route. It’s impossible for me to imagine the hospital or the doctor.

I have, all the same, prepared some questions to ask the doctor. I know myself, I am very passive and in this instance I want to know all there is to know.

I am a little frightened and I daren’t fully let myself hope or rejoice over it.

We’ll see tomorrow…..

[original in French]
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  1. Hello
    I came across your blog by chance, well not really by chance because I was researching female circumcision. I'm 16 and I too have been circumcised ... at one year old and my family have told me I almost didn't survive. I would have preferred to have died after a year of existance than face this life which looks like being very difficult. (I don't know if I'll even have the strength). I wanted to thank you because it's good to hear more about a person who is feeling exactly the same thing as me.... My circumcision, I haven't yet spoken to anyone about it because I'm too ashamed and I don't want anyone to see me as a "common" victim. I hope your operation works out well, and you find what you had lost. Myself I think I will have this operation when I'm around 20. Thanks from thebottom of my heart. PS Sorry I haven't left an address but I will often return to see your blog.

    2 March 2007 17:15

  2. Hello and welcome!
    It gives me more than pleasure to read your comment. It proves that this blog is some use and encourages me to give as much useful information as possible. Believe me, nothing is lost for you. Nothing is lost for victims of circumcision, quite the contrary. If you want advice or information, don't hesitate to give me your email address and I will make a point of answering you. You have been the victim of a horror all the more dreadful that the men and especially women don't see the sufferings that they inflict and perhaps don't imagine the life after excision for the victims. You aren't a common victim, but just a victim. Admitting it is the first step to the end of the tunnel.
    Thank you agina, good luck and see you again soon I hope.
    3 March 2007 17:00

  3. Hello Papillon

    I came across your blog while surfing the net researching accounts of female circumcision.

    It’s mad, as your story could be mine. And I confess it has done me so much good to read your account.

    Like you I am the victim of circumcision. Like you I have asked myself questions for a long time without finding the answers.

    I have never spoken about my problem with anyone, not even my mother, with whom I can never manage to talk, I’ve always had the impression I’m dealing with a stranger who is more preoccupied with what people say about her and with following customs rather than the feelings of her daughter.

    I’ve always been a model daughter, who has succeeded brilliantly at her studies, who never complains, but deep within great sadness and loneliness is locked up.

    I expect also to have recourse to surgery for repair but unfortunately I haven’t managed to reach that point. I hope that everything will go the best way possible for you on 16 May next and that from that date you will start a new life, which I think can only be better. In any case I am wholeheartedly with you.

    Thank you again for your blog.

    Looking forward to reading more.


  4. Hello Idène

    Welcome to my blog. It’s true our stories are extremely similar!

    I believe that what is really hard to endure, it in effect the impossibility of speaking about it to anyone.

    As for the operation, it took me 2 years from the time I knew the surgery existed until the time I decided. So don’t be in too great a hurry. The time will come no doubt when this operation will seem to you to be obvious.

    Thank you for your encouragement.



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