Monday, 26 June 2006

My friends: skirts

Monday 25 June 2007

Yesterday evening I realised something amazing.

In 40 days I haven’t worn trousers. Well, if you don’t count large pyjama bottoms in which I spent one or two Sundays, I’ve worn NO trousers in 40 days. I’ve worn nothing but skirts for over a month. Every day! Isn’t that totally ridiculous? That hasn’t happened in such a long time that I can’t remember my previous record. That's to say, what has happened to me is revolutionary.

What’s more, I feel normal.

So obviously for the unconditional follower of trouser-wearing that I am, things can’t be reversed without pain.

At the beginning of my convalescence it was easy, I was nothing but pain and suffering. The extreme sensitivity of my genital zone left me distrustful of all my close fitting clothes in my wardrobe, and trousers even more so. I could see that my comfort and well-being was possible only in a skirt. I was already in pain and I wasn’t going to add to it by trussing myself up in trousers.

That lasted all the time I was off work. I was at home, my bare legs gave me the impression of being by the sea in the summertime.

When I went back to work I wanted to wear trousers again as usual, as the pain and even the pulling were no more than vague memories, and the itching which remained with me didn’t bother me.

Only, I pictured the ravages which the friction from the crotch of my trousers could cause on my clitoris while healing, and I trembled.

So I rejected all my clothing values and decided to follow a skirt cure.

Standing in front of my wardrobe I discovered several things. First I didn’t have many skirts, barely ten. And of these ten or so, very few were suitable for my professional working environment. I’ve bought skirts only to have around during the summer. I don’t even have a suit, that is to say of the sort I need.

I’ll pass by on the humiliating report on the remaining number of skirts which no longer fit me. Seeing that I rarely wear them and only in the summer, I obviously didn’t know that they were shrinking (my theory is that a skirt unworn is an unhappy skirt. And everyone knows that an unhappy skirt shrinks.).

I had to call on some smart dresses which I have to enhance the pile of wearable skirts, and in order not to wear the same thing every three days.

Then I realised the point at which it was hard to lose my automatic reflexes. How many times did I calmly open my cupboard on the left and take out a pair of trousers while humming, before realising it wasn’t going to be possible? How many times did I lose the thread of my thoughts in front of my cupboard on the right, troubled by seeing no trousers there?

Honestly, I battled to undo what I hadn’t realised was an addiction until I found myself confronted with the necessity of shunning my adored trousers. It wasn’t easy.

What’s more, I had to review my depilation strategy because I could no longer hide my legs.

I benefited by chance from my operation taking place during the spring and not the winter. That way I could skip tights, stockings and the like (especially as I’m permanently depilated). I don’t know why, or rather if, I do know why, my tights practically never survive an unfortunate encounter with my nails. If I manicured a bit more often, my nails would be less jagged and my tights would have peace.

Good, so it’s summer, so no tights. Even though in a strong wind or rain, I’m cold, even very cold. It doesn’t matter too much you see, I live in Paris. That implies that the time I’m in the open air is more than limited (long live public transport). So I clench my teeth, my pullover, my legs and speed up my steps. And the cold is bearable.

What’s more, there are the looks from the flatterers. I had never realised how much success you could have in a skirt. Even with shadows under your eyes, spots (hoorah for spring) and not even a low neckline. It’s rather pleasant I have to say.

My love being greatly in favour of my decision to wear skirts, I envisage buying a load of them during the sales.

My goodness, I don’t recognise myself.

It’s ridiculous the effect it has had on me. Because it’s mellowing wearing a skirt. At least it’s had a strangely calming effect on me. I wasn’t masculine to start off with, far from it even, but the speed with which I’ve got used to myself in skirts, I’m going to transform myself into a femme fatale without the time to say "oof". If that happens I’m going to have a passion for high heeled shoes any time soon.

My God!

In the end though, what comes out of all that is that it isn’t so difficult to wear skirts. Nevertheless, since nature returns at a gallop, even if you send it out to graze, I tried on my largest jeans yesterday evening. Just a question of finding out my clothing options.

It started really well. I managed to do up the buttons and take a few steps without any problem.

It was only when I sat down that I knew that I wasn’t ready to put on my favourite jeans again. They still aren’t at all acceptable to my convalescent zone. Which hastened to protest with a painful discomfort. After that, even standing, the charm was broken. I wanted to pull down on the crotch of my jeans and even keep it like that permanently, between two fingers. Unfortunately that isn’t at all classy and what’s more it keeps one hand occupied full time.

I therefore, wisely, returned to my skirts.

I’m going to be patient a little longer, hoping that I don’t get bronchitis, laryngitis or who knows what, walking around like that, with bare legs even though it isn’t even 20 degrees … [68 degrees F]

[Original in French]

Next post


  1. Wow, so yet again I admire you, because skirts and I are not great friends (they show my calves, the idiots!! Honestly!!)
    (I adore your theory and I have plenty of unhappy outfits in my cupboard I think ;-))

  2. That's brilliant! So few women wear skirts regularly, it's great that you have started again (besides I should take a leaf out of your book). It's true you straight away do feel more feminine in a skirt, would it be because of bearing you can have: no more reading the paper in the metro, legs apart :-)
    Skirts, brand new pussy (excuse me using the expression, I love that word) and what am I reading?? high heels soon? Oooh I think you're going to make people envious this summer :-) :-) Myself I say you can't try too hard to be seductive in everyday life, so much the better if you take up good habits. All the same I'm going to wait quite a bit longer :-)

  3. Hello
    I'm leaving you the address for a nice forum which has just started . It's a forum for girls, where you talk about tastes, lots of things for girls...

    So perhaps see you soon on the forum

  4. Brilliant, your theory of unhappy skirts, that explains a lot! And does it work for trousers too?

    I've rediscovered skirts myself which I'd put aside because ... in fact I don't really know why, and I'm getting them out again because, unbelievably, they look better with my heavy-weight heap of a behind...

    Happy to hear you are at ease with your "new" wardrobe! So I wish you sales full of skirts, dresses and slips!

  5. Wicked, your theory of unhappy skirts!!! :P Personally I am a fan of skirts, I wear them as much as possible. It didn't come naturally, not at all, it's just that I was broke and in the space of three weeks I tore three pairs of trousers, which restrained my choice there A LOT. :D

  6. "everyone knows that an unhappy skirt shrinks": I love that! ;-))

  7. Hi Papillon

    And me, I make the same statement about skirts shrinking if you put them to one side for a long time, I've even said the same thing about the complete contents of my wardrobe! But it's true that it's a good way of refilling your wardrobe of skirts and dresses! I wasn't very much in favour of skirts or dresses either at my place of work, sometimes I have to.

    Sometimes I say to myself in the evening "tomorrow I'll wear a skirt" and next day I do that, just before taking out some trousers after seeing myself in the mirror. Not that it's so very awful, but just that I'm not used to being in a skirt at work.

    But when you don't have a choice, like you, you have to get on with it. And in the end it's something good for you!

  8. But Fyfe, there are also long skirts you know? OK in the summer you don't really want that. But that it's summer at the moment, it merits some though I think.

    Oh Elté, be careful! High heels are something different from skirts. It happens that I have a congenital ineptitude for walking in shoes with high heels. I don't know why but I really do have a terrible gait (even though I try to walk boldly and place the heels with confidence as I read at Helen's place that I should). I've heard a theory somewhere that says that standing up, if you place your weight on the front of your foot, and then you walk a few paces like that (a question of finding your equilibrium), the height which separates your heel from the ground is the maximum height you can wear without pain. And so I did the test and I can tell you that my heels are barely 3 cm from the ground. So, you see, that's not at all likely.

    Hello Nanou! Thank you for that address. I think I'll learn a lot of things there!

    Cély, I think the theory of unhappiness that causes shrinking applies to all clothes because I have already noted the phenomenon with jeans I haven't worn for four years and which have gone into a complete depression. I won't even mention thighs. Have you too found that you can be at ease in a skirt? In fact it gives you more liberty. I even ask myself if I'm not going to start a collection of skirts...

    Mlle Crapaud, so you are confirming that you can become a fan of skirts? But after how long? And trousers, do you still wear them occasionally, or has the affair of the triple death marked you too badly?

    I have studied the question well Hélène and I am sure there may be other possible explanations:)))

    Nono, you have to zap the "mirror" situation if you want to leave your house wearing a skirt! Otherwise, it's clearly dead... And from the beginning of your pregnancy, do you prefer trousers or skirts?

  9. I'm hopeless!!
    It's now a month I've been seeing you in skirts... and I've said at the most "Look she's suddenly started to wear skirts".
    I was even not far from saying "wow, we only need to work more together for her to wear skirts, she's done it deliberately" (You need to know that we work together and that Papillon has lovely legs).
    I didn't even think that you might have been in pain... I don't know that i merit being "best friend" on this blog for very much longer if I continue like that...
    I will give myself an excuse by saying "it's young women's business that I can't understand" but without conviction.

  10. My pregnancy has just ended tragically. I've spoken about it on my blog. I'm trying to look ahead but it's not that easy.

  11. Papillon, I've heard of this technique of walking in heels with confidence (perhaps even on Hélène's blog). But but but I can't do it either. I'm going to measure my centimetre potential for heels that way, it's a really good idea, and too bad about all the pretty shoes I've already bought, sniff...

  12. Champignon, you didn't understand my sudden "passion" for wearing skirts? Well done sir! No congratulations! You who are normally so perceptive. OK I'll let it pas this time but watch out, OK?

    Nono, I am profoundly sorry for you. Profoundly. A big hug.

    So, that reassures me Elté. I was afraid of being the only one who couldn't do it. If you tell me it's hard for you too, perhaps it's just difficult, full stop.

  13. Yes, yes, I can confirm, you can become a skirtophile very fast, and the first step is rapid. Dependence is difficult to define. I sometimes wear trousers from time to time but I feel constrained very quickly. I prefer skirts, more becoming. But after the triple death, I scoured shops (in my language that meant I went into a shop three or four times) and I found THE jeans. You know, THE trousers so beautiful that you look like a top model in them even away from the catwalk, because they are so beautiful that they dazzle everyone? So there you are, after this trouser-love at first sight, I have almost let my skirts go. Except that now I am addicted to my legs. I like to let them breathe. And I have a secret passion: mini-skirts, you feel the wind and it's Briiiliant^^

  14. I believe I'm becoming addicted Mlle Crapaud:)


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