To you who arrive at this blog,
To you who have followed this road before me,
To you who have had the operation,
I would like to ask you:
- Did you feel bad after the operation?
- Was your family aware that you were going to have the operation? Did you speak to them about it?
- Did you have the feeling of having arrived at the end of the road? Did you put your operation behind you?
- What changed in the way that you perceived yourself after the operation?
- Did you feel more radiant? What exactly does that mean for you?
- Have your relationships with men changed? And your relationships with women?
- Has the operation had an impact on your libido? What I’m saying is, do you want to make love more?
- Is making love really different after the operation compared with before?
- Have you been disappointed by any aspects of the operation? I mean, have you any wishes which haven’t been fulfilled by the operation?
Thank you very much in advance for your answers and I wish you a very pleasant path through life.
Next post
[Translated from the comment on the original blog]
ReplyDeleteHello
To be sure of answering all your questions, I’m going to start at the beginning of your post. I’m keen to point out that what I experienced (the repair operation) isn’t common to all operations. Each one’s physiology, life history makes the operation (the after operation) unique.
In my own case, when the effects of the anaesthetic wore off, thanks to painkillers (anti-inflammatories and others) the pain was bearable. There was no possibility of my stopping work after the operation. Therefore I had a 2 hour journey by TGV to return home and the next day I went back to work. I managed during the daytime all the same. But at night I felt a lot of pain again. I think the fact that I continued at work (walking and stairs …) made me feel the pain again in spite of the painkillers. There was also the fact that I experienced the operation almost alone, my family not living in France. Yes, I would have liked my sister to be there when I came back to my apartment; for my mother to bathe my body in warm water, to make me a meal at home. I might have felt the pain less.
You can imagine that my family knows about it. I told my sisters and my mother from the moment I was scheduled for the operation. We talk about this barbaric practice of excision with my mother. She became sensitive to the subject and is an active member of an association in which one of the activities is the fight against circumcision.
The day that I went to the clinic I arrived a good hour too early. I was too afraid of being late. I sat down on a bench in a nearby park. And the more the minutes passed, the harder my heart was beating. I called my two sisters and a priest friend with whom I had confided my fear (it was the first time I had had an operation) and they reassured me.
To have arrived at my goal, no, I don’t have that feeling. I feel it’s more to have arrived at the end of the fight. You see there are “demons” everywhere and anywhere.. My circumcision is behind me. It no longer comes into my head (nor faces me) as in the past; I have almost forgotten it. To tell the truth I no longer see myself as very different from a non-circumcised girl. I have a lot of self confidence. And I say to myself that in the end the circumcision didn’t win; rather it was me who won, thanks to Dr Foldès.
What I have learned from this experience can be summed up this way: evil never ends up the winner, we are stronger than evil.
My feelings towards men and women has never changed.
I don’t resent my mother, on the contrary I feel sorry for her because she has this massacre on her conscience and it is difficult for her to forgive herself. Paradoxically, I don’t feel I want or need to visit my grandmother or my uncles and aunts in the village where the massacre took place. I feel almost indifferent to them.
As far as my sexuality is concerned there is no comparison between before and after the operation. Before the operation I felt pleasure when I was making love (my clitoris and part of the labia minora were removed). I knew how to gain pleasure from other parts of my body. I might not have a clitoris but I had plenty of pleasure from elsewhere, and I accepted and wanted this pleasure.
Today my libido has multiplied by 100, 1000, 10000 … in the number of times I want to make love and in intensity. I am now more demanding than my boyfriend. And I feel much more pleasure now than before the operation. Yes it’s very different. I’ve accepted my body much more and I am not concerned about letting my boyfriend see it. Which wasn’t the case before.
I am of the opinion that the operation acts on psychological and physical levels.
Your two last questions are very pertinent. After the operation I expected to have first class sex, as if I had never been mutilated. I was disappointed because my labia minora weren’t rebuilt as you are expecting. Nevertheless, more than the fact that it is very sensitive, I find it beautiful and never tire of looking at it.
There you have some of my story …
PS I don’t write as well as you although I hope you have understood me
Many, many thanks for these answers. They reassure me and make me want it to be 16 May. Your answers are clear and perfectly understandable.
ReplyDeleteI wish you success in your other battles. I am certain you will get there. Courage, and thank you again.
19 March 2007